National exams begin

The General Chimpificate of Secondary Education (GCSE)s have begun for the 21 children in SCIOTCOR today. Guards with AK-47s are ready to shoot in the event of cheating. Today's exams include General Electronic Entertainment Studies and Pwnage Studies.

Communists begin Nuclear Program

No one else knows about this so shhhhhhhhhhhh!

OMRLP begin rebuilding HQ

The OMRLP begin rebuilding their HQ today at the site of their original site, just after the communists launched a tactical missile at it on Monday. Their reason why the communists won't launch another missile? 'We don't believe a place can physically be bombed twice' A OMRLP spokesperson stated at a press conference.

Civil War Reaches a peak as other party joins in

The SMIOTCOR civil war reached one of its peaks today when the OMRLP joins in the civil war as a third front, stating that 'you fools should not've underestimated the power of the monster side'. The communists immediately launched a tactical missile at its HQ, destroying it. Sam Street, head of the OMRLP, unharmed, issued this statement: 'Shit.' The OMRLP is in direct communication with the other OMRLP parties in the UK, Germany and France to try to force their governements to go to war with SCIOTCOR. Comrade Munki Ward is succesfully completing the RELIFE program, however a problem with the system meant that Comrade Simon Wang looked like a zombie. His body was revived, but his brain was not.

Civil War Sparks off once again

Although peace was hoped for, it is not to be. The communists are threatening the fascists with their tactical missiled 'borrowed' from China. The fascists were trying to secure an arms deal with Germany. Michael Wendland, leader of the fascists was last heard saying, 'What do you mean, the Nazi Party isn't in power any more? They were 65 years ago, weren't they?' The Fascist Party agree to update their international records as soon as possible.

The Results are in!

'Munki' Ward (Communist) 39% (117 votes) Josef 'Kieth' Sommerville (Depressed) 33% (99 votes) Mike 'Chrono' Wendland (Fascist) 21% (63 votes) Sam Street (OMRLP) 7% (21 votes) Nick 'Boris' Schuster (Spare) (N/A) Turnout: 87% Yes. Comrade Munki returns for the third term in office. Begins his manifesto pledges immediately by beginning the RELIFE program and shooting everyone that doesn't agree with his publically 'from now all'. All the other political parties quickly disbanded. A parliament is being contested over. The problem is, if a parliament of 100 is to be made, then around 40% of the population would be needed!

Voting begins in ASCIOTCOR!

The various parties issued a ceasefire today as voting begins in the single polling station in the country (located in Chimp City, capital and only city). Therefore, people from neighbouring villages need to take the long 40 minute hike into the city to vote. Turnout is expected to be around 83% of the population of 267.3. The national records were last updated in 1852. The fascists add an amendment to update the national records if they get into power. Polling started at 8am this morning and will end at 3pm. A form of identification (ie, 'I live in ASCIOTCOR' will do) is needed.

'Are you sinking like I'm sinking?'

Less than 24 hours until voting begins, and (finally), one of the candidates dies! Comrade Simon 'sideath' Wang died today an honurable death, after his luxury cruiser sank (literally). Now, the votes tally like so: 'Munki' Ward (Communist) 45% Josef 'Kieth' Sommerville (Depressed) 21% Mike 'Chrono' Wendland (Fascist) 15% Sam Street (OMRLP) 19% Nick 'Boris' Schuster (Spare) N/A Comrade Munki still in the lead. Comdrade Munki added new clause to manicfesto: 'Initiation of RELIFE programme to brink Comrade Sideath back to life through a mixure of Dark Magic, Illuminati Theroy, Wicca, Physics and Monty Python'

Current Poll results

Matt 'Munki' Ward (Communist) 35% Simon 'Sideath' Wang (Communist) 25% Josef 'Kieth' Sommerville (Depressed) 16% Mike 'Chrono' Wendland (Fascist) 10% Sam Street (OMRLP) 14% Nick 'Boris' Schuster (Spare) N/A Although the communists have a strong lead, fears in the communist camp is that the Depressed party might get in through the back door*. *And kill them.

Rawlings SHOT

Comrade Rawlings, owner of pen island just off the coast of a small communist island off the coast of Russia, has been SHOT. His mother states: 'Finally. It's about time he died.' An onlooker said, 'Good, he was an ugly mug.' Happy Birthday, Rawlings. You're just like Shakespeare.

Election sparks off civil war

Civil war has been started off between the communists, the fascists and the official monster raving loonly party, after allegations that the communists refused to lend the fascists thier vaccum cleaner - and then the OMRLP claming that 'monsters have rights too'. Sticks were thrown, which then increased to rocks, then molotov cocktails (after Mike of the fascists realised that cock's tails weren't acutually needed). Anyway, the communists are in talks with China wanting to 'borrow' their tactical missiles because of a 'domestic problem'.